Practicing my speech to the cabinet
“Hear ye, hear ye!
I am Miss Mattie, and I am Running for President of World Cat Day!
Just giving you a heads up.
This is my new purpose.
I know this because I have been looking for this purpose everywhere. I’ve looked in the cat box, under the couch, between Mr. Bailey’s ears and in my human’s shoe.
This must be it. Purpose it must be. ( oooh, sound like Yoda again)
Today may be the day that I am full of purpose. (Be nice, I already went to the litter box)
Who could resist me on this day? I look like a kitten but have the smarts of a cat.
I am just like a politician. You won’t know what you get until it is too late.
I shall be the voice of all the cats.
President of World Cat Day.
Taking a break and a bath. A girl has got to look good
Every politician must have a platform. I can sneak away Mr. Bailey’s cushion of contentment and put it on top of the large vacuum box so I can be up really high.
Since this is world cat day, I can’t expect the human to put me up on that box. I need to show the world that I have the power and strength to rise to the top.
I will have to get myself on that box.
I figure I can wiggle my butt to propel myself full speed down the hall to spring-board off Bailey and land on my platform.
Hopefully it’s a solid landing. I would hate to slide off and end up in the food bowl. I can’t be President with food hanging off my whiskers.
Then, I will give my speech so my meows will be here in all 4 corners of the earth.
Ummm. Does the earth have corners if it is round? I need to know. Don’t want to make a political fumble on my first day. The press would eat that up.
To get started, I will need a secretary, a go to cat who can run errands, and someone who can think on his paws. Besides, someone has to write all my material while I am out meeting and greeting.
I will be the first to make a statement too. Bright and early in the morning before the sun comes up; before the human arises. I would hate for her to ‘shush’ my morning meows and platform speech.
I also need a few minion cats. I need to appear to have a large following and support. They should be waving flags at the bottom of my platform box.
The flags could read…
Mattie for World Cat Day 2015!
World Cat Peace!
Paws for laws against catnip stealing!
Free tuna for life!
Cat’s for every home!
Wiggle your whiskers for Miss. Mattie!
Punishment for those who “let the dogs out.”
Reduce litter box clumps.
These sound great.
Gotta go practice my acceptance speech.
Don’t’ forget to vote for me. Miss. Mattie with 2 T’s.
I lost my cushion to her platform.
Mr. Bailey, wise cat wisdom
Sigh. It’s early but I am up for the challenge.
I see Miss Mattie has a world to conquer. Her eyes are sometimes bigger than her appetite for success.
She is napping in the vacuum box right now.
Miss Mattie, I realize you want domination in the corners of your round world, but this day is not about you. It is a day is about the welfare of ALL cats.
This is not the day to make a political stand.
We should try and connect with all of our cat friends from all over the world. We are only one meow in a million.
Maybe later, if you stop making a mess of the kitchen with your platform addenda, we may get a treat of tuna or catnip from our human.
As for your purpose you are seeking. I don’t see you as a politician. You can’t paw pop the constituents into submission or bribe them with catnip. That is not the best paw forward.
Besides, you would have to take fewer naps and be nice to the “primitive cats” out in the yard. Can you do that?
Although, I can see the excitement in spring boarding off my back to get onto your platform, stealing my pillow is not political savy.
You can’t have minion cats either. You know it is impossible to heard cats.
Let’s try a different approach. Instead we can find some friends, spread some compassion and enjoy the day as we celebrate in gratitude- World Cat Day.
We will find you the perfect purpose on another day. OK?
What do you say Miss. Mattie, can I sit on the cushion with you?
Yes, you can keep your signs.
Miss Mattie says…
Sigh…sure.
I still want a minion. And free catnip.