Five wise break up lessons from a cat

 

Years back, I went on a spiritual retreat with my friends and when I came back early from a rain-out, I found that my “love” packed up everything and was leaving. Obviously, before I got back from my trip.

So much for the spiritual calmness I had from my retreat.

This experience was the kind that spun my life out of control. It felt like a big tornado whipped through tossing my emotions about. I couldn’t find the up or down and I definitely couldn’t find the balance I desperately needed. In this tornado, I saw nothing beyond it except chaos that was closing in on me. I couldn’t get away from the shards of debris that were piercing my broken heart either.

What was even worse was I didn’t understand “why.” I had no answers that day, only chaos. I felt answers would give me something stable to hold on too, a rational for this situation, but I got nothing but more wind, debris and now an emotional flooding of tears.

The emotional rain lasted longer than the winds, or so it felt.

A few weeks after this breakup, I was sitting on the couch crying buckets of grief and self-loathing. I could hear in the distance behind the sobs, what sounded like purring. A few moments later, a tiny paw reached over and purposefully touched my leg. It was so gentle and perfectly timed, that it stopped my crying instantly. For the first time in weeks, there was calm yet spaciousness that I felt within and between me and my cat.  I looked at the cat, and I saw clarity. I also saw reflective in his eyes was what I didn’t want to see in mine; sadness.

That day, my cat became a wise little friend giving me support and dollops of wisdom. I could even see glimpses of sunlight peeking through and illuminating the state of calm in the middle of my spinning tornado.

“The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.”

– Ernest Menaul

Over the months to come, I dug my cat claws into whatever would keep my sane and balanced. As I looked to my little zen friend for inspiration, I realized this wasn’t necessary. I needed to release my pain and need for answers to the tornado winds and to gently surrender to the grief and fear of being swept away by my flood of emotions. I had to be present with all of it. The deeper within I went, the more calmness I felt. This process at times was difficult yet cocooning and cathartic, but most importantly it was healing my heart; one beat at a time.

Then it hit me, my answer. I realized for the first time that I was caught up in the man, not the loving moments this relationship could have contained. It became future oriented and in doing so, I put my present “now” life on hold to make room for future him later. I also put my cats on hold too. They were never neglected; I just had the typical unhealthy “relationship-focus” which included pushing everything away to make room for this to-be-expanding-love. Hindsight is funny, ey?  As time passed, the “why” was no longer important, as I decided to leave that in the past with the rubble of devastation the tornado left behind. What was important for me was to embrace the spiritual part of me that was waiting in the now.

The tornado winds slowly lifted, the emotional rains stopped and what was left behind was ONLY what was needed; the present moment.

There is a reason that women are especially connected to cats and it reminds me of the quote…

“The smallest feline is a masterpiece.”

– Leonardo Da Vinci

This is true and I know now that even if another emotional tornado comes forth, I am always in the company of a masterpiece; a tiny Zen master who shows me the way to live, through the wisdom of the cat.

 

What I learned from my cat..

Tornado’s are devastating. When a breakup hit hard with tornado winds and emotional floods, remember that at the center of every tornado is a place of present stillness; this sacred space where love resides. Find the cat calmness within.

We are never alone. The universe is always trying to provide us comfort.  Let yourself feel the gentle hug from the universe when you are sad. It is silent, spacious and it is usually felt in your heart as a tiny flutter of energy…this is the spark of hope. Never discount the simplicity of this.

Cats have a Zen like quality and Cat Essence that we can embrace. As we see their ability to be present, patient, loving and perceptive, we can learn to be an inner reflection of that.  Learn to live life in the presence of now. Catnip is optional.

Cats are very intuitive and aware of the emotions around them. Their eyes mirror our truth and their kindness can open them up to what we can’t see clearly. Sadness has a low vibrational level and the cats can sense this even if we can’t. Look to your cat for cues. Cat hugs are not optional, they are required.

The Inquisitive Cat is curious. She looks at things without judgment; with a playful, yet open- minded view, not holding on too tight to expectations, yet allowing everything to unfold… naturally. This may also mean shining the pointer-light on the darkest corners of our mind; the place where deep sadness resides. Remember that inner darkness is always sacrificed to the light of wisdom and love.

Hug me if you are sad.

When all else fails, mindfully pet your cat. There is science and a mystery behind this, besides…. you may just find your Inner Purr.

KT Cat Paws